7 Things I've Learned Being a Fat Girl in Korea

Hi lovelies! I'd like to talk briefly today about a subject that's very close to my heart, especially as I'm in the middle of a career transition. Many people fall in love with Korea after being hit with the hallyu wave and inundating themselves with K-pop and/or K-dramas. I'm no exception! I was dazzled by how beautiful the men and women on the screen were, and I was very vocal in my praise (much love to my friends and family back home who put up with my fangirling for so long lol). 

For a number of reasons, I decided I must go live in Korea--that was the country for me. I devoured all the info I could on expat life in Korea, but I was disturbed by reading some miserable experiences of overweight expats here. If you read those stories, please don't be scared off! I didn't let them me put me off, but I came to Korea four years ago expecting the worst. I'll relate some of things I discovered in that time without judgment. 

First of all, when you're watching your K-pop MVs and feeling bad about your body, just remember...

Not everyone is as beautiful as the celebrities we see on TV. I think that Korean people are in general very attractive and that Korea probably contains more good looking people on average than many countries. I'm biased, however, and have a definite preference for Korean features. The fact that not everyone looks like the models and K-pop idols won't stop them from TRYING to look that way though. Again, I don't mean everyone--some Koreans are perfectly happy with their appearance without constantly comparing it to the ideal. But that's the thing: there is a very specific "ideal" of beauty and it's pervasive in Korean society. Everywhere! On the subway, on the TV, walking down the street you'll get reminders that...

Beauty ideals are extremely specific. It's not enough to have a nicely proportioned and symmetrical face. You must have the V-line (jawline shaped like a 'v') and a small face. I still don't completely understand the small face thing after all my time here, but I know some friends who get made fun of for having large heads. That's just something that I never noticed, having grown up in the States where it's not something we're taught to notice. Even if you have the face shape down, skin tone is important for Korean beauty standards--the lighter the better. Also, having a "high nose" and big eyes is desirable along with those enviable straight brows. 

If you get frustrated, the many plastic surgery ads around Seoul offer suggestions lol.

As for your figure, slender bodies are preferred on men and women, though a woman should have as large breasts as are reasonable on her slight frame (that's flexible though--there are plenty of slim women with A-cups who still fit the ideal). Also, one should work out to make themselves slim in a way that doesn't give them big calves. Heaven forbid we see muscles on an in-shape set of legs (ok, I got a bit judgy there after all--sorry).

As there is a different cultural standard for beauty...

There is a different standard for politeness regarding weight. I can't recall a specific instance of this happening to me, but it probably has sometime in the last four years: a well meaning Korean colleague or friend will take you aside and kindly inform you that you really need to lose weight for your health. They don't mean to be rude at all, only helpful, and will offer to assist you or make suggestions of nutritionists or Chinese medicine clinics. The funny thing is that most of the friends I hear this anecdote are not really overweight, but are only fat by Korean standards (larger than a size 6).

Oh, wait! The first time I got a physical here the doctor had a very serious talk with me about my weight and suggested how many kilos to lose. Also, though it would hardly be spoken out loud, companies might hesitate to hire someone based on their weight. All jobs require recent photos submitted with the resume even before an interview, so just...be prepared. I've yet to lose out on a teaching job because of my weight, but now that I'm doing other things I'm mentally preparing for the worst because...

Korea isn't made for overweight people. First of all, it's very difficult to find plussized women's clothes in stores. Maybe it's easier online, but many foreigners' limited Korean skills makes that difficult. Also, as we plussized folks know, trying on clothes to check the fit is very important. More than that, however, many places and features are designed without large people in mind. I've many a time feared breaking a tiny stool or wobbly looking chair at a cafe.

Me at Lotte World

Public transportation and theme parks can also be difficult for people over a certain weight. I haven't personally gone on a ride a couldn't fit into, but it's been tight a few times. Some folks a little bigger than me can't fit into some rides at all. And yet...

There actually are overweight people in Korea. You certainly wouldn't know it from the Korean media, however, where the only overweight actors are comedians or gag men. Korean television is very careful to promote the idealized Korean beauty standard as, if not the norm, then something to aspire to. Nevertheless, there are walking, talking, breathing overweight people in Korea. As an overweight or obese person, you won't be gawked at like a circus freak in a country full of supermodels. I promise! There might be some uncomfortable moments, but as long as you're prepared for that, you can let it roll off your back. 

The hardest thing to get used to as a fat person in Korea is the constant expectation that someone will make a comment or be rude about your weight when meeting someone new.

Just know that, even though the dread is always there, it rarely ever happens. My most awkward moments have come from when I was teaching: children have no filters, or from random old women making passing comments to my friends. Something along the lines of "Oh, your friend would be really pretty if she lost weight!" I just do my best not to feel insulted and agree that I would indeed be prettier (at least according to the Korean standard) if I lost weight. But even if you feel unattractive sometimes, don't worry...

You can still date Koreans. For those of you who want to come to Korea and find a nice Korean bf/gf (for whatever reason, no judgment), don't get discouraged. If you don't let your self esteem get ruined seeing all of the beautiful, thin Koreans around you, it's absolutely possible to find a boyfriend/girlfriend no matter your body type. I'm a size 16 and have a wonderful boyfriend who, though having grown up with those specific ideals and expectations of beauty, loves me regardless. We have an open dialogue about my weight loss struggles, but I still know he thinks I'm beautiful and he wasn't the only one. I've seen people bigger than me dating Koreans and being perfectly happy. 

I think I started taking better care of my appearance in general, and specifically to makeup, hair, and skincare, since I got to Korea because those were aspects of my appearance I could immediately control and improve upon. Weight loss takes time, a good makeover doesn't. For me, making sure I'm put together every day gives me the boost of confidence I need to feel attractive in a country where my body is so far from the ideal.

I think that if you feel comfortable and let yourself be lovely, it will attract the right people. And even if it takes time...

It's so worth it. Despite all of the challenges, I find myself more motivated than ever to lose weight! I'm certainly more motivated than I was living in the States. For me, it took getting out of the routine and comfort of my own country to truly begin my weight loss journey. Even if I wasn't trying to lose weight, however, my love for Seoul and my life in Korea would make any number of unpleasant observations or suggestions related to my weight worth it. Do I think life will be easier in Korea if I lose more weight? Of course. The shopping options alone will change my life! However, even if I never lose another kilo, I wouldn't give up my life in Korea. I'm not naive enough to expect the strict standards of beauty here to dramatically change any time soon, but I sincerely hope people are not scared away from coming to Korea because they don't fit that standard. 

I've found my happiness here and am happy to share it with the world! Wherever you settle, please feel lovely in your own skin and trust your good qualities to recommend you to people worthy of your love! Feel free to comment with any questions about being overweight in Korea or any stories of your own. Have you had any unpleasant weight related moments in your time here? Let us know~^^

Kisses,

Angela

K-Pop Style: Super Junior - Devil

Super Junior - Devil click on the image above for shopping info ^^

AHHHHHH SJ IS BAAAAAACK!!! OMG I always anticipate their comebacks with all the enthusiasm my poor fangirl heart can muster (which is a lot), and Suju doesn't disappoint! They've been doing this so long, each comeback is so smooth and so pro. I love EXO and BTS and all the younger guys too, but I still need SJ to come around once a year and school everyone on how it should be done! Super Junior is like "You think you're confident? THIS is confidence. You think you're sexy? THIS is sexy. 

Bringing sexy back since 2005 >///<

One of the best and most unique things about Super Junior is their humor and ability to not take themselves too seriously. I know other groups try to joke around, but most are far too concerned with their cool image to really let loose and goof off. That's why SJ is still so important to the K-pop landscape even ten years later! Ten years is a looooong run for a boy band, but SJ still gets all the love from fans. Their personalities are what SM markets best, not their amazing talent or their ability to look hot in a suit.

Though I'm sure it helps.

Anyway, SJ has found a formula that really works for them over the years and I won't argue with them. Classy suits, a smooth and sexy sound, and awesome dance moves all blend together beautifully into that classic SJ image we know and love. 'Devil' is no exception, and I have personally already seen both ELF and non fans singing along and tapping their feet to the song as it plays around Seoul. I'm so proud of our boys as they celebrate both another hit and their tenth anniversary! Ohhhh I can't wait for the party in November! ^o^

As for the fashion in the music video, it would have been easy to do menswear looks inspired by some of the members' more fabulous suits. However, I chose two looks based on the girl, the titular "devil" (don't get me started on SM's portrayals of white girls in MVs--that's a rant for another time). 

The look on the left is from her scene with Kyuhyun: "Devil's Temptation." It features a kind of sexy business woman vibe: white silk blouse, black pencil skirt (with slit), and the glorious ankle strap pumps that stood out most to me. Don't forget the smoky eye and red lipstick! 

The look in the middle is based on her outfit in "Street Dance of Love" (lol) featuring the black crop top and sequin skirt. I thought the little devil horn headband might be fun for a night out too! 

The look on the right is inspired by Yesung's wonderful red blazer, white tee, black pants, black and white loafers combo. Yesung oppa isn't even my bias, but his outfit really stood out to me (and I'm happy he's back!).

We all know Eunhyuk is my ultimate bias now and forever! He killed it in that burgundy suit, too <3

What did you think of the song and MV? How about the live performances? 

Also, I have a very exciting makeup project in the works to celebrate 'Devil,' so please expect! I hope everyone loves the SJ comeback and spreads the ELF love during their promotional period! As always, please comment with any looks you'd like to see next~~~

Kisses,

Angela

K-pop Style: AOA - Heart Attack

AOA - Heart Attack by luhunnie

Real quick, I just wanted to post a couple of looks from AOA's performances of "Heart Attack!" I like the MV, but lacrosse inspired fashion isn't really my cup of tea. I think their cute ensembles in the performances are more wearable though! I loved Jimin's off the shoulder white shirt with the pink mini. I also thought the schoolgirl looks with the plaid skirts were cute too! I'm not a fan of wedge sneakers though (I'm tall enough), so some simple white kicks like these Lacoste ones are perfect for this look. For makeup, the girls have really fresh and rosy looks, so I'm going for this lip and ckeek tint from Korres. As for the cat ear headband, why not? *sings along to "Like A Cat"*

What did you think of the song? I love the word 심쿵 haha--it's one of my favorite Korean words (thanks, BF, for teaching it to me!) and I use it all the time. I thought the lacrosse motif was a bit much, but I really enjoy the song itself! 

Also, I thought Jimin's sqeauky chipmunk voice was weird and annoying at first, but it really grew on me! Now I think it's really cute kkkk.

Feel free to leave requests for any looks you want to see! 

Kisses,

Angela

Date Look - Namsan Tower (Summer)

Date Look - Namsan Tower by luhunnie 

For one of the most popular date locations in Seoul for both locals and tourists, how about dinner and sightseeing at Namsan Tower? It's one of Seoul's most easily recognizable landmarks and makes a romantic setting for your lovely date. There are several great restaurants with breathtaking views of Seoul, day or night. I first learned about it back in 2010 after watching Boys Over Flowers for the first time! Remember when Jun Pyo and Jan Di got locked in the cable car overnight? Now the whole world sees it as a romantic destination.

Freezing cold and awkwardness! Ah, romance! (j/k I love these two forever)

For date night, there's a cozy mid-priced Italian restaurant with couple seats facing out to the windows called THE PLACE. Your outfit can be pretty but somewhat casual, like the look on the left with a cute floral skirt and crisp white shirt. 

For info on the menu and prices check out their official site here.

I would definitely wear flats with this outfit along with some cute and simple accessories. Try The Face Shop Mango Seed Glow Date-Prep Butter to give your skin a fresh and flawless base for your makeup. 

If you really want to go all out, however, try the fancy French restaurant n.GRILL at the very top of the tower! It actually revolves slowly to give you a gorgeous 360 view of the city that will take your breath away (sunset is the best time to go!). 

Again, you can view menus and prices at their official site.

This restaurant is $$$$, so make sure you dress accordingly! I've put together a lovely look for a nice night out on the right. Isn't that lavender dress beautiful? For extra charm, style your hair in a romantic updo and keep the accessories small and pretty. The focus should be on your beautiful face, not your jewelry! As I said, this restaurant is really expensive, so I'd save it for a really special occasion like a graduation or engagement. Regardless, you'll want to look as lovely as possible! 

Before or after dinner, there's a nice (cheaper) cafe to relax in and a yummy ice cream store! You can see the views from the observatory. Also, why not do what couples traditionally do at Namsan and purchase love locks? ^^ This is such a sweet custom: you buy (or bring) a pair of matching padlocks and write loving messages to each other before attaching them to the many many MANY walls and towers of locks already there. You then throw away the keys together over the side of the mountain (you're not technically allowed to do this, but everyone does). Generations of lovers have been pledging their love with these locks at Namsan, and doing so with my BF last year was one of the most romantic moments of my life!

A perfect memory.

Forgive the sappy messages, but I highly recommend waiting to go with someone until you're sure about them! It would be awkward to return with another guy later if things don't work out. Those locks are there pretty much permanently! You hear the odd story of someone going and trying to saw or cut theirs off after a nasty breakup, but your locks will be really difficult to find again! BF and I went again for his birthday only one month later and our locks were already buried by dozens of other couples' locks and tokens of love. It doesn't matter though--I actually rather like the idea of our locks being their forever under mountains of tokens from other couples in love. That's a lot of love, y'all!

I got a bit sidetracked from the fashion, but I hope you enjoy your romantic date at Namsan! For the perfect makeup look to go with it, see my casual day date look and my romantic date night look for inspiration! Chanel Chance eau Tendre is a gorgeous fragrance for a romantic date as well. 

I'll be writing a post on visiting Namsan soon, and there will be another style post for visiting in the winter! If you wear the above outfits in cooler weather, you'll freeze your butt off! It can get pretty chilly up there kk.

Bye Lovelies! 

Romantic Date Night Look

I'd like to thank everyone who has been reading my posts, watching videos, and sharing! Please keep it up! Today, I'm going to show you the evening version of my usual date look. It's very much like the daytime date look, but with more intensity. The color theme is still pink, but the pinks are more vibrant and the eyelashes more luxurious. I like to wear this look when I meet my BF in the evenings when I can get a way with a bolder look kk. I find pink shadows look great on all eye colors, but they make green eyes in particular really pop!

Let's get started!


Step 1: Apply your base makeup of choice for an even, natural finish. I'm going to continue to use my Iope Air Cushion XP in N13 Light Vanilla. If you want to try a shimmery finish, however, now is the time! Readers outside of Korea can find the Iope Air Cushion compacts from around $30-$40 on Amazon. If you're in Korea, just head down to Aritaum! Refills are around $18-20. I usually replace mine every two months. ^^

They're easy to find on Amazon and other places online. This is a top-seller around the world!

Base

Step 2: Concealer! I usually skip concealer in the mornings, but sometimes by evening I look a bit more tired. A good concealer will cover dark under-eye circles and keep you looking like a panda! Try a high quality one with a creamy formula that doesn't sink into fine lines but is opaque enough to cover blemishes if required, like Clarins Instant Concealer (I use 01). It retails for around $30 on Sephora or Amazon, but you can get it at department stores here in Korea if you want to try it first.

Concealer

Step 3: Use the same candied orchid shade Aritaum Style Pop Pudding Tint in No.4 Lollipop on your lips and cheeks, focusing on your cheekbones rather than the apples of your cheeks this time. As y'all know, this ish will give you the perfect sweet oink shade! I couldn't find it many places online, but ebay definitely has it! Check it out! 

Lip and cheek tint

Step 4: Get your eyebrows straight! Keep them as soft as possible. I'm still using the Clio Kill Brow Tattoo Lasting Gel Pencil in 02 Light Brown. You can get it at Club Clio stores or Olive&Young in Korea. It's pretty cheap--around $10!

Eyebrows

Step 5: Apply a primer to your eyelids from lash line to just above the crease. This is so important! I'm using the Etude House Proof 10 primer, which is just a godsend. It's way cheaper that Urban Decay at around $5.50! You can get it at Etude here or Amazon.

Step 6: Take two of the Etude House Play 101 pencils in 16 and 20. These are great for eyes, cheeks, and lips but we'll do it for eyes today. 

First take the light pink shade (16) and apply it all over the lid to the crease. Before it sets, use your fingertip to smudge it around and smooth it out to a uniform light pink.

Base light pink

Next, take the darker shade (20) and line your upper lashes with it. It's going to look really bright, but don't worry, we'll fix it! 

Dark pink point

The last step is simple, smudge the two shades together with your fingertip to create a gentler gradation. 

Blended. Pretty, right? ^^

Step 7: Liner! If you like the idea of bright pink shadow for day, I recommend a brown pencil just along the lash line. However, this look if for night, so let's use our favorite black liquid or gel liner. Just line the natural shape of your eye, making a slightly bolder line than for the daytime look, Give it a little wing at the end. I'm using the Clio Kill Black pen liner, which you can get online at ebay or amazon or in Club Clio/Olive&Young in Korea! It's around $10-$12 online, but worth every penny! 

Eyeliner

Step 8: Mascara. I would use a primer, but I'm out of lash primer at the moment and haven't repurchased yet. I'll improvise instead and use a tubing mascara with a non-clumping formula to just lift and separate the lashes before applying a high impact formula. I'm going to use NYX Doll Eye for the first coat, which is my go to drug store mascara. ^^

Mascara coat 1

Now break out the high impact formula for the second coat! I'll use Lancome Grandiose Wide Angle Fan Effect Mascara. It has that cool swan neck wand and retails around $32. This stuff is amazing! It's kind of pricey, but worth it. 

Mascara coat 2

Step 9: Cream blusher. To make your evening look lovelier, add some pink cream blush to your cheekbones! Just make sure you keep it on the outside of your face. If you're not sure, hold two fingers up to your face next to our nose. The blush should not come within two finger widths of your nose--that part should stay white. I'm going to use the Etude House Sweet Recipe Cupcake all over color in PK002 Strawberry Chiffon Cake. It's a cute baby pink cream blush that can also be used on lips and eyes (though I don't like the finish on lips at all). 

Cream blush

Step 10: The last step is to make a nice gradient lip! If you like the lips with just the Lollipop tint, then curl your hair and head out! If you want a more intense look, grab a deep pink lipstick with a creamy blendable formula. I like the Etude House Dear My Wish Lips Talk in PK003, the same shade Krystal wore in the promotions. I love this line of lipsticks! They're pretty cheap too at around $9.50. Just dab the lipstick in the center of your lips and blend out to make a nice gradation. 

Lipstick

Ok, you're all finished! Throw on your LBD and sexy hairstyle, and head out to meet your date! 

What do you think of the look? ^^ Do you like to wear bright eyeshadow colors for day or night? 

Enjoy your date~~~

Kisses,

Angela

Dating Culture in Korea: WTF are Couple Shoes?

Hi Lovelies! I want to take a few minutes to talk about an aspect of Korean dating culture that I found strange at first, but now I think is totally charming: matching EVERYTHING for Korean couples! Well, you don't have to be Korean. It's just acceptable for couples who live here to take the lovey dovey matchy-matchiness to the next level in a way most of my North American friends would find revolting.

Exhibit A: matching couple tees. Check them out here!

It's considered perfectly normal here for couples to wear matching clothes, and I see plenty of cool guys walking around Seoul wearing matching t-shirts, hoodies, or even full outfits as their girlfriends and thinking nothing of it! It's so common here that no one even blinks. If you just search "couple tees" or "couple hoodies" on Amazon or ebay (I think ebay has cuter options), you'll likely find a lot of cheezy "His" and "Hers" couple themed options, but it doesn't have to be that lame. Shirts don't even have to be the same color/design either. My BF and I have couple polo shirts--his is grey and mine is red.

Ruined by me trying on my new Nike visor which, in his words, makes me look like a fast food worker. Oppaaaaa why so mean? T-T

So what level of this cuteness am I personally able to indulge in? My BF was a initially reluctant to embrace the idea of couple clothing, labeling it "lame" and "for kids" haha. But I finally talked him into letting us get couple shoes around our 300 days with the compromise that he chooses the style. We were initially going to get some Adidas Superstars, which were really trendy this spring, but EVERYBODY in Seoul was wearing them as couple shoes! So we found some really nice Reeboks that actually had his size (290 is big in Korea!). I think most couples choose men's styles because they go smaller, but women's sizes definitely don't go higher! I'm a US size 9 and can hardly find my size anywhere in Korea.

They were a good compromise--not too girly but not too manly. Perfect for both of us! 

On our one year anniversary, we also raided the Nike store and got couples workout clothes for playing basketball in the park, They don't match exactly, but they're black and white--very cute. ^^

My personal favorite is couple hair color!! This is less common, but I see it sometimes around Hongdae--a Seoul hub for street style and funky fashion trends. I would do this in a heartbeat!

Image courtesy of my girl Sara--check out her awesome Instagram here!

Another popular item here in couple rings, which is where my BF sadly draws the line (he has a strong no jewelry on dudes policy). However, I think it's super cute! It's common here to get couple rings as early as your 100 days anniversary! People tend to wear them like a wedding ring on their left ring fingers, so it was a bit confusing for me when I first got here. I was at a university and lots of the students had couple rings, so I'd ask "Oh, are you married?" They just laughed and explained. 

There are places around here in Hongdae where you can get couple rings specially engraved, but outside of Korea you can buy them online at tons of stores. 

You can find these here, but they're everywhere. Get a sweet message engraved!

Maybe BF will change his mind about the couple rings kkkk. By the way, I should say a word to explain the anniversaries in Korean dating culture! Unlike American style dating, which usually considers 1 year (maybe 6 months) as the first big dating milestone, Korean couples usually celebrate each hundred days leading up to 1 year. And I mean really celebrate! For our 100 days we went on our first road trio together to the beach for romantic 3 day weekend.

Love Love Love!

So, Korean dating culture is on a different scale than Western dating culture, and I love every minute of it! I didn't love it when I was single, however. It's hard not to give into your forever alone feels watching cute couples splitting heart shaped pizzas at Pizza Hut or snuggling in one of the two-seater couple seats at the movie theaters. The truth is, Korea markets to couples in so many ways, and appreciation for all the lovey dovey merchandise and menus probably won't be there until you're in a relationship. Or, do what I did, and try to appreciate the cute quirkiness of it without participating. When you're able to walk hand in hand with someone wearing the same shirt as you, it'll feel all the sweeter for the waiting.

What do you think? Would you and your BF/GF wear couple items? Which would you want to try first? ^^